Kid Quotes: The Boy

Our son is a kook. He is five years old and sometimes the funniest, weirdest things come out of his mouth. He gets especially crazy when he and daddy hang out. Here are a few quotes that were memorable enough to write down…

At the park with the family one day, the boy leans over and pretends to bite Ross on the arm…

At dinner, with guests from the ward, the boy pipes up from the kid’s table with the most gravely voice he can muster (he sounded like a an old woman with a pack-a-day habit)… looks me (his mother) straight in my face and says…

After church, his big sister holds out her hand to Ross and says happily “Look, Daddy, I got a CTR ring!” Then the boy skips up behind her, holds out his empty hand and says in an equally charming and happy voice…

The boy is fun. We love the boy.

Kid Quote: Halloween Edition

Halloween is in full swing around here. D has been wearing his spider man outfit at night and during the day every day that I will let him. It is either on his body or in the washing machine.

The traditional window monsters have been taped to the kitchen window. I found some cute monster silhouettes online and let each of the kids choose one. Aunt Kat and I drew them on black poster-board and cut them out. Once they were up on the window, each child got to name their own monster. This year the monsters are named: Tiger, Martha, Cleevus, Lucy, Garlock, Sweetpea, Steve and Pretty.

On Saturday we drove down to Jakers Jack-O-Lanterns. It was a blast, and I will try to post more pics and videos later. They had a petting zoo – including a kangaroo, slides, treats, pumpkins, and several pits full of dry corn for the kids to swim in (which sounds weird, but was actually really awesome). In the car, on the way over D piped up from the back seat (in a very conversational tone of voice)…

And then after a longish pause…

I have no idea where he got any of this. Even well adjusted 4-year-olds are creepy sometimes. *Since this conversation we have had a few conversations about death and resurrection and how we will be together forever because we were sealed together for time and eternity, but all of that wouldn’t fit in a speech bubble.

Sliding into a pit full of dry corn kernels is the epitome of childish joy.

Is it a thumbs up or a gun? Either way…the boy is sitting in a pool of dry corn. He is satisfied.

Window monsters, a pretty girl, and a cat.

Oblivious to the monsters be hind her, the little girl smiled genially.

Kid Quote: Jokes

A: Why are the clouds so black all the time?

D: Why?

A: Because the trees are too silly!!!

D: [Laughs hysterically] Tell me an nudder yoke!

A: Why are the two trees always singing to each other?

D: Why?

A: Because they are BEST FRIENDS!!!!

D: [Laughs hysterically] Tell me an nudder yoke!

A: I don’t want to…you tell one.

D: Oh tay. Why did the flubber fluggest floobety flaut?

A: [completely un-phased] Why?

D: Because floo feebeeee!!

A: [Laughs hysterically]

Kid Quote: A Virtuous Digit

A: Mom, my finger is filled with love and courage.

Me: It is?

A: Yes. I learned that from Cinderella.

This moment brought to you by Disney.

Kid Quotes: A Collection

I’ve been a little slow on the draw lately, but I have been jotting down some pretty golden quotes. Here are a few that I haven’t posted in the last few weeks…

#1. After the room should have been clean:

Me: Uh Oh! Looks like the room isn’t clean yet! Here comes…the claw! (the claw is my hand and it eats [aka: puts on a high self] toys that haven’t been picked up) It’s going to gobble up some stuff!

A: Oh no! Not my beloved stuff! [quickly putting away toys] Face your DOOM, claw!

#2. The kids were building a fort and protecting it from imaginary invasion.

A: Watch out for the huns!

D: Batman and puppy will save the day!

#3 Playing a boisterous game of baby-doll super heroes:

A: Watch out! It’s 45 degrees. The baby is evaporating!

D: Oh no! The baby is invaporating!

L hasn’t been featured in any “Kid Quotes” yet, for obvious reasons, but here is a picture. Her go-to words are dad, mama, bye bye, tickle, hi, and yeah. 

Husband Quote: The Rule

This morning Ross told me his secret.
“This is the rule by which I live my life: Never eat slimy meat.”
There you have it folks.

Kid Quote: The Grandma We Don’t Like to Talk About

The other day, D and A were playing quietly.

Concerned, I went to find out why. That’s when I came upon this:Me: Hey…what-cha doin’?

A: This is our Grandma.

Me: Who? The Vacuum?

A: Yes. This is Grandma and we are going to go shopping together.

Me: I see she has some beautiful sunglasses on.

A: Yeah!

Me: [pointing to the blanket on the vacuum handle] And what nice hair she has!

A: [with a withering look] That…is not…hair. That…is a scarf

Me: Oh.

A: Mom. This is my grandmother and I love her very much.

Me: Well, Have fun shopping.

No answer. She was too busy fixing ‘grandma’s’ scarf.

Kid Quote: Her Other Family

Driving through Provo last month, we passed by one of our old houses.

Me: See that house? You used to live there

[pause]

A: Oh…and… who was our parents?

Kid Quote: The Reason

The other day, D was pretending my phone charger was a microphone. Our interview went as follows:

D: What is yours name?

Me: It’s Mommy

D: What is yours favorite word?

Me: Hmmm…onomatopoeia

D: What is yours favorite reason?

That is a good question! What is my favorite reason? I was pretty stumped about that one actually, so I will pass it on to you, Internet. What is yours favorite reason?

‘For what?’ you ask.

‘Exactly.’ say I.

Kid Quote: Musical Moments

We left for vacation a week before Christmas, and we got back home yesterday. It was so much fun being back in Utah. I loved seeing the mountains, and family, and our friends, and now… it is great to be home.

More stories from the mountain west to come, but for now let’s stick to the present. I think the kids are excited to be home as well. A has been singing non-stop since she woke up yesterday. She mostly makes up her own lyrics..here are some snippets:

Before breakfast: “I love my dad, and the curse that my sister did so much!”

After breakfast:  “I’m just a little girl and I help my mom each day! Everything nice and clean, get ready and obey!”

At playtime: “I know everything. I know everything. I even know what day it is! It’s Tuesday! OH YEAH! It’s Tuesday. Oh yeah!” (It actually isn’t Tuesday. It is Wednesday)

Before lunch: “I have great power and might and the power of the babies! The power of the babies and good times. The power of the baby Mr. Toot! The baby Mr. Toot!”

After lunch: “Which way? That-a way! That way to the talking city of the world and his ferret charm!!”

I honestly don’t know what is going on inside that girl’s mind, but it really is fun to get these little glimpses from time to time.